A Wild Department Store Appears! [Complete]

[Eridan Ampora]

So according to the landdwellers, this was the largest and finest shopping establishment in the land of Kanto. As Eridan entered, sneakers squeaking on the linoleum floor, he reflected on how thoroughly that condemned the land of Kanto.

"Clerk," he snarled at the nearest employee, "I havve need of your finest cape or cloak or something like that. Somethin suited to my royal blood. I had one but it wwas DESECRATED in Vvermillion City. You wwill provvide me wwith a replacement."

He made a quick motion with his long, manicured fingers, producing a loud snap.

"Be quick about it. I don't havve time to wwaste if I'm gonna track dowwn the bitch wwho did this to me."

[Clubs Deuce]

♫ Fancy shopping!


"Yes, sir!"

Wait... That voice... That small, eager voice...



Deuce? What is he doing behind the counter? Wasn't he working in the Rocket Game Corner across the way? This time though, he's wearing a spiffy little store-clerk hat.

The little carapace man disappears into the stock room for a while, then appearifies back at the counter, barely tall enough to reach over the counter. He spreads out a fabulous garment of fabric.

Long and flowing, it would surely reach the floor if someone of Eridan's height wore it, and it could wrap around the front of one's body when needed.
The edges are patterned beautifully, especially at the collar.
The cloth feels like soft velvet to the touch.
It's regal, it's royal, it's perfect.

Except for one minor detail which might be a deal-breaker.

It's red.

[Eridan Ampora]

For a moment, a blood-violet mist descended over the world. Eridan's blood pusher pushed its hardest, his lips drew back to expose a threat display of pointed teeth, and his hand closed reflexively on Ghengis's Pokeball. Sure, the worst his Horsea could do was pelt the tiny carapacian behind the counter with bubbles, but the blunt impact of the Pokeball itself should cause some damage. Before he threw, though, the more rational side of his mind reasserted itself. The tiny man wasn't from Hoenn, nor was he even a troll. Surely he didn't mean grievous insult. This was simply a cultural misunderstanding.

A cultural misunderstanding to be corrected swiftly, and in such certain terms that the tiny man would never misunderstand again.

He seized the cape, bunching it mercilessly in his fist, and spread his other hand flat on the counter, claws marring the display glass.

"Let me explain something to you," he began, "and let me put it in terms that your admittedly small mind can comprehend. I said, and I quote, that I wwanted somethin suited to my royal blood. Noww a Kanto-born carapacian savvage like yourself may nevver havve evven heard of a haemospectrum, but just look at the colors I'm clad in. Does it fuckin look like I'm a goddamn red-blood to you? If a man asked you for cavviar, wwould you servve him chum?"

He leaned down almost to the shop clerk's level, eyes narrowed.

"This wwill not do, good sir. This wwill not do. I require something vviolet. Vviolet."

[Clubs Deuce]

Oh god. Clubs recoils, his fingers on the edge of the counter, ducking his head down to hide most of himself behind it. This customer looks about ready to grab him by the collar and lift him bodily.


Clubs peeps in a small voice.

That's all he has to say for himself. "I - I will make an effort to be more culturally aware in the future!" Clubs glances over his shoulder, then back to Eridan. Looking for really, any excuse to remove himself from the rather scary troll. You would think he would be used to tall scary men by now, but this isn't quite the kinda threat he's used to back in the Midnight Crew.



"I will just - go see what we have in back, then? Something in wiolet. I mean-- violet." Clubs sweats, accidentally mimicking the customer's accent. Oh please don't take that as an insult.



After ducking into the stock room for a while, Clubs returns with a similar cloak, this time of violet hue. It's not quite as soft, nor as fancy. But it's the same size, and has a collar that pops up, reminiscent of your favourite villain.

"I trust this will be more to your liking, sir?" Deuce asks, wincing a bit in anticipation of another possible outburst. "It is, um, the only violet one I could find in stock right now."

Goodness he wishes Droog were here. He knows all about being well dressed.

[Wild Pokemon]

- A wild(?) Pokémon has appeared! -

While Eridan is busy paying for his cloak, and Clubs is busy ringing him through, a little someone has climbed onto the counter.

A spiky little purple critter, hunkered down on all fours, apparently finds it appropriate to nibble on the bottom edge of Eridan's brand new cloak. Maybe the colour attracted him, or the fabric it's made from, but his pointed buck teeth are actively making a hole in the fabric. At least the nibbling seems to placate him. In fact he seems quite content and calm -

Until, that is, Eridan catches sight of him. Nidoran turns his head from the cloak and gives the troll the rudest "what the fuck are you looking at" expression that one's ever seen on a non-humanoid face.

[Eridan Ampora]

For one brief shining moment, Eridan came so close to being placated. His irritation had settled down to a dull roar when Deuce produced an cloak in an acceptable color, even if its craftsmanship wasn't quite up to the standard he would prefer. That was just another slight to enter in his ever-growing list of grudges against the landdwellers.

Then he glanced to his right.



He snatched the cape away from the Nidoran, ripping the fabric even more in the process. His eyes bulged.

"WWHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU PISS-BLOODED POKEMON!"

He turned on Deuce.

"AND WWHAT ARE YOU DOIN, HOWW COULD YOU LET A WWILD PEST LIKE THIS INTO YOUR STORE?"

He snatched Ghengis's Pokeball off his belt.

"Oh fuck it, I'll just take care of this PUBLIC NUISANCE myself! Ghengis, GO!"



"No, stop that Ghengis, it's no time to be fuckin cute. LOOK! This is a Pokemon battle! Bubble NOWW! Just, BUBBLE! Hurt that goddamn thing."

[Wild Pokemon]

Nidoran is surprised to see a Horsea appear, of all things. He squints at the little blue thing, trying to discern-- It's a male, isn't it? Nidoran has a bitter Rivalry going on with other males. Not just Pokémon males, either; the two-legger guys get on his nerves as well. Especially when they grab things away from him. Eridan.

The Nido hears the command coming, and hunkers down in a tight ball, hiding his face. Trying to show nothing except his back. Most of the bubbles shot at him pop against his spines, reducing the attack's potency. Clever little spiky bastard...

Once the stream of bubbles has stopped, Nidoran springs up again, jumping forward to nab the cloak back from Eridan, between his teeth. If he refuses to let go, Nidoran simply wriggles his body until one of his spikes poke Eridan's hand and makes it flinch.

Then, he's off! Jumping down from the counter and speeding across the floor, dragging the cloak along with him. He dashes straight for a rack of clothing on the store showfloor, and hides in between the clothes on hangers. The purple cloak may be hard to pick out among all the other fabrics in here.

...While he's hiding, just in case... He decides to quietly Focus his Energy.

[Eridan Ampora]

Goddamn that clever little fucker. After a brief tug of war with the surprisingly strong and unfortunately spiky Pokemon, Eridan had to watch as it fled with his cape. The only cape of the proper hue in the entire store. Which was probably already ruined. Which he'd already paid for. And which was camouflaging the fucking thief amidst the clothing racks.

"You'vve underestimated me, you shitty little nibblebeast," he called out, forgetting that the creature would likely be unable to comprehend his threats, "I'vve studied the wways of the greatest strategists in the history of trollkind."

He strode to the other end of the shop counter and dropped a stack of coins onto it before reaching across to help himself to a Max Repel.

"I'm buyin this," he assured Deuce sotto voce.

There was a brief shriek of metal as his claws gouged holes into the can of Pokemon repellent, and then he lobbed it overhand into the clothing section.

"That'll drivve the bastard out," he growled, "be ready Ghengis! Givve him all you'vve got!"

Ghengis loyally complied. Unfortunately for Eridan, all he had was more bubbles.

[Wild Pokemon]

Aghh! Those horrible fumes! They're in his eyes! Eridan may as well have tossed a can of tear gas in there. Damn that trainer, that was ruthless... But also really clever, Nidoran has to admit in part of his mind.

With a flying leap, Nidoran bounds out of the clothes rack, popping out between two atrocities of fashion. Of course, as soon as he's in the open, a stream of bubbles pop against his face, forcing him to wince hard. AGHH! AGAIN WITH THE EYES!

Eyes watering and vision blurry, Nidoran ends up partway tangling himself up in the cloak he's dragging. His back-spines puncture through the fabric as he struggles. Half-blind, the purple pincushion lunges for the blur he assumes to be his opponent. Somehow he ends up in the troll's highlighted hair, his stolen cloak covering Eridan's face, and catching on his pointy horns, putting even more holes in the fabric. Like 'mon, like trainer.

Peck! That's the only thing he can hope to accomplish at this point! Peck with your buck teeth and hope to draw royal blood from his scalp!

[Eridan Ampora]

Eridan's day had been going poorly enough prior to having an angry wild Pokemon covered in spikes squirming around on top of his head and trying to injure him, but that sort of turn of events always sends things to the worse. He stumbled backward, flailing just as blindly as the Nidoran, and fell over the counter, landing in a tangled pile of merchandise and pain.

Sprawled in the ruins of a display of Pokeproducts, Eridan clawed around for something that might tip the odds in his favor, his hand closing on something that felt like some kind of Pokeball. He bashed it against the struggling creature on top of him, hoping it might capture the fucking thing before the little beast made it through his skull.

((OOC: I call this the Dirk Maneuver. Princes gotta Prince.))

[Wild Pokemon]

The chaos unfolding atop Eridan's head suddenly goes quiet. The Pokéball opens, then closes, and rumbles around in Eridan's hand for a few moments.

♪ Victory Fanfare



First Pokémon caught!


Male Nidoran, Level 7
Hardy nature

An irritable 'mon. Especially irritated by other males. Placated most easily by something to nibble on, or by females.
He's a tough cookie.

[Clubs Deuce]

"Oh gosh. Are you... Oh gosh."

Clubs stands behind the counter just next to the Ampora who had tumbled over it onto his side. Now, usually customers aren't allowed back here, but this seems like extraordinary circumstances. He'll allow it.

The little guy is in shock from the whole kerfuffle. He steps forward eventually, and tries to help Eridan get the cloak unhooked from his horns. "Oh no, let me just... Try to help you with... Oh, it sure is tangled, is it not? Maybe if I... And over this way... Theeerrrrrre. Is that not better?" As he manages to lift the cloak up away from Eridan's face, he spies the seething expression of barely-contained wrath on the face he just revealed.
"Oh. Um..." Gently, ever so gently, he lowers the cloak back in place, covering the frightening face. Ah, yes, that's better.

[Eridan Ampora]

Eridan rose from the wreckage stiffly and painfully. With a final sickening rip of fabric he tore the last remains of his cape away from his head. He was met by the wide blank eyes of Ghengis and the carapace clerk.

"Wwhat are you lookin at?," he growled at the pair of dunces. Fat lot of help either of them had been while he was being brutally attacked.

He dropped a few more coins on the counter.

"This is for the Pokeball. And a feww more."

He snagged three off what was left of the rack, clipping them to the opposite side of his belt from his trio of Dive Balls.

"As for you," he drawled at the Pokeball that had captured the nuisance Nidoran, "you're mine noww... Napoleon. Shitty compensation for a ruined cape, but you'll pay me back in vvictory, wwon't you? Do wwell in battle and I might evven forget howw you wwronged me. Until then, wwelcome to Troll Elba."

He withdrew Ghengis to his Pokeball as well and returned both members of his expanding party to his belt before letting himself out from behind the counter.

"I hope you'vve enjoyed havvin my business today," he said to Deuce, voice dripping with disdain, as he walked into the clothing racks, "because after... this..."

He paused to remove a violet trenchcoat from a hanger and shrug it on. Decent fit, with some flair, even if it's not his preferred style. Better than nothing. He checked the price tag, ripped it off, and threw another handful of coins in Deuce's general direction.

"After this I'm done wwith you and done wwith this store. The next time you see me wwill be the day I wwipe your wwhole fuckin establishment off the map. Good. Bye. Sir."

And with that he turned and stalked out, the door chime ringing a paradoxically cheery tone behind him as he went.

[Clubs Deuce]

"Thank you, come again!"
Clubs exclaims with sudden cheer, standing amidst the wreckage.