Seadwelling Human Style [Complete?]

[Eridan Ampora]

Eridan stamped his foot as he waited impatiently for the ship to finish its last slow crawl to its pier. If he had a Kingdra already, or a Wailord or any other properly regal Pokemon, he could have sailed to Kanto himself instead of taking a dirty landdweller transport. He could have swum under his own power, he supposed, but days on the open ocean with only a Horsea for defense wasn't his idea of a sound strategy. And that's what it all came back to, didn't it? Fuckin Horsea. Can't Surf because he's too small, can't swim because he's too weak. Trapped on a stinking landdweller ship full of imbeciles, all because of Horsea. Maybe he should have tried to talk his lusus into bringing him a Lapras or something.

He leaned over the rail, gratified when the sea breeze had the decency to catch his cape dramatically, and stared down at the water. He could still jump and swim for it. Arrive in Vermillion under his own power, as his own man. He could see landdweller trash bobbing in waves along the coast, though, and could just see his grand entrance being ruined by climbing waterlogged onto the pier with flotsam hanging off his horns, soaked sneakers squelching under his feet.

No, he would bear the indignity of arriving on a boat. He would bear every indignity heaped upon him by the world of landdwellers, and in time he would pay them back in full.

He would pay them back with generous interest.

And there would be no refinancing the mortgage of his vengeance.

[OLDROXY]

(i'm re-using a starter from an abandoned thread with a similar premise, hope that's okay!)

Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegh.

It was official. Roxy was never getting on another motherfucking boat again. It had seemed such a good idea, get to the North of Kanto without having to take that nasty uphill Cycle Path, hang around in Vermillion and stock up on some necessities, then head right up to Saffron to meet lovely Janey and then kick ass in a contest.

Of course, reality was never quite that simple. There was no alcohol on the boat (talk about lame, even for a ferry) but Roxy had brought along a secret stash, and had been sipping contentedly for the first hour or whatever. Boats were great. Boats were relaxing.
But the longer the journey went on, the more queasy she started to feel. And it was the really gross kind of queasy, where you desperately want to be sick already and just get the whole thing over with, but you just can’t. A martini or two did nothing to alleviate the sickness, either. Neither did texting Jane.

She was lolling her head over the side, kind of feeling like she wanted to die, when she finally caught sight of their destination. Vermillion. Thank FUCK. She was one of the first people off the boat, and as soon as her feet were on dry land and she was steadying herself, her body took the opportunity to make her violently sick. Luckily she was able to lean over the pier and puke into the ocean instead. Nice.

[Eridan Ampora]

(Perfectly fine with me!)



Eridan strode down the gangplank and onto the pier, jutting out his elbows to ensure proper billowing of his cape. He was prepared to hurry through the crowd of passengers departing from the boat and on toward his destiny, but then he noticed a human girl expelling the contents of her stomach directly into the ocean. Filthy. Disgraceful. And another reason to be glad he'd not swum up to the pier.

He stamped his foot as he moved to stand beside her, peering down at her with his face scrunched up in a constipated glare he probably thought represented disdain.

"It's landdwwellers like you wwho are pollutin our oceans," he growled, his accent coming out in full force, "You just see it as a wwaste dump, don't you, not anywwhere anyone actually livves."

He flipped his scarf, half trying to hit her in the face with it. Not all-trying, mind you, that would imply that she was worth his contempt.

[OLDROXY]

Woah, somebody was talking to her. They didn't sound too happy, either! She straightened herself up and faced this super rude guy. It wasn't like she'd had time to get to a puke-point! Honestly, it she just threw up in the first place available. It wasn't her fault that just so happened to be this douchebag's precious ocean.

"God, I'm soooooo sorry!" she slurred, "like I give a shit. The number of shits I am givin' right now is in the NEGATIVE. Besides, 's ocean's own fuckin' fault for wobblin' around so much and making me sick t' begin with. Who do even you think you-"

Bleeeeeeeeeegh!

Whoops, looked like Roxy hadn't quite finished being sick. Poor fish troll guy. His douchey cape was totally ruined. Roxy was a little torn between laughing and apologizing.

[Eridan Ampora]

Eridan's eyes went wide in shock and horror. The human had vomited on HIM. On his royal cape! The disgrace of it! He unclasped the stained garment and let it fall onto the rough planking of the pier, backing away from it as if it had become a living, venomous thing.

"Ghengis!" he shouted, "Go! ANSWWER THIS INDIGNITY!"



The seatroll's Horsea sprang from its Pokeball, a froth of bubbles spewing from its mouth... aimed at the stricken cape. He knelt over the fallen fabric, rinsing it in the stream, anxiously waiting for the aerating bubbles to cleanse the wrong done him.

Waiting in vain.

He put a hand on Ghengis's snout, pushing him away.

"It's no use."

He rose slowly, hands shaking and clenching, trembling with the sheer rage running through him.



"You havve made an enemy this day, drunkard! Tell me your name so I might knoww wwhich human has come to represent my eternal rivvalry wwith the filth of the land wworld."

[OLDROXY]

If Roxy felt a little bad before, she most certainly didn't now. After all, this was hilarious. Who would have thought somebody could get so worked up over a CAPE? WHO EVEN WORE A CAPE???? It was ridiculous, and so was this guy's regal air. Even Meenah didn't act this superior. She couldn't help but laugh.

"Hahahaha! Sorry about your cape fishy-guy. Though you oughta be thanking me, not declaring yourself the Zazzerpan to my Calmalsis or whatever. That thing was a serious crime against fashion. Nice scarf though! Check it; we totes match up." She flicked her own long scarf, carefully avoiding the patch on vomit on the pier.

The sea troll was pretty cute, actually! The hipstery glasses were a nice touch, and his outfit was kinda stylish once the stupid cape was off. Shame about his terrible personality! "The name's Roxy Lalonde! Roxy like that one Gym Leader with the base guitar, only spelled with a Y. And what might the name of my new, hehehe, 'arch nemesis' be???"

[Eridan Ampora]

Eridan took a step back and narrowed his eyes at the girl. Roxy. Her scarf actually was a twin to his, and her entire outfit seemed relatively well put together for a trashy land whore. And her eyes... he'd never seen that color on anyone but a troll. He'd never seen that color on anyone but a royal troll. Perhaps having her as a rival would not be entirely unpleasant.

He wrinkled his nose and tried to chase away those thoughts even as a violet blush began to touch his cheeks. She had insulted his cape after ruining it with her vomit. She had profaned the waters as well. She wasn't to be thought of... that way. She was to be destroyed.

He reflexively waved his arm in a motion that would have dramatically swished his cape had he still been wearing his cape. The reminder of his loss strengthened his resolve. He squared his stance.

"I am Eridan Ampora, and you wwould do wwell to remember that, wwoman. It is the name not only of your doom, but that of he wwho wwill wipe this land clean of life. I havve the blood of conquerors, and before long Kanto wwill lie at my feet."

[OLDROXY]

"Hahaha. Hopy shiiiiiit. You talk like a dude outta one o' Mom's brooks." Killing all land-dwellers sounded pretty ridiculous to her, though. That wasn't even conquest, that was just plain slaughter. Lame! She straightened herself completely, squaring her shoulders.

"Pretty full of yourselghl, are weeeeee? You think yer TOUGH? Being troll royalty, as if I even care about that, doesn't mean u can go round threghtening GENOCIDE, yo."

Seriously. She wasn't sure whether this was just your regular brand of asshole, here. Dude was talkin' mass murder. Though it was admittedly pretty hard to take him seriously. He was almost a parody of a villain.

She made a note of where her Pokeballs were, just in case.

[Eridan Ampora]

"And you speak like a wwoman of loose morals," Eridan retorted, "Wwhat den of dissolution vvomited you forth?"

He leaned back and flicked his fingers through his hair, glaring down his nose at the human.

"Maybe if you landdwwellers didn't vvieww the oceans as either a wwaste receptacle or a fuckin toilet I wwouldn't be tryin to take a dump on you for a change. As it stands, I havve evvery right to pass judgment on your wwhole shitty race."

He reached down and grabbed Ghengis's head, pulling the Horsea up to Roxy's eye level. He blinked at her with his usual disarming cuteness.



"Are you challengin that right?"

[OLDROXY]

Loose morals? What the fuck was being implied here? She was disliking this guy more and more. His air of superiority was pissing her off. So she liked to have a drink once in a while (well, daily) and flirted pretty often! Who the hell cared? She did what she wanted.

"Hey look, IF YOU LOVE THE OCEAN SO MUCH WHY DON'T YOU MARRY IT?!" It wasn't exactly cutting edge, but it was all she could think of right now. "Maybe if you sea-dwellers weren't sucha bunch of lousy shitheads we'd actually give something resembling a fuck. And FYI, judging people and threatening to murder 'em all aren't the same thing."

She tried to keep looking annoyed when Eridan started to challenge her, but couldn't help but grin when the Horsea was shoved in her face. That thing was cuuuuuute. She wanted one. The fact that he thought it was a threatening gesture was also hilarious.

[Eridan Ampora]

Eridan shifted his glaring posture, giving Roxy the over-the-glasses look of a feral librarian.

"Your cultural insensitivvity in tryin to impose the human institution of marriage on a troll has been noted and added to my list of grievvances."

In the absence of a cape to gesture with, he flicked his scarf over his shoulder as dramatically as he could manage.

"Anywway I'm not lookin to murder anyone here. This is execution. I'vve judged you and found you wwanting. I'm gonna wwipe the slate clean of the mistake that is your society."

He shook Ghengis at her, the Horsea burping a couple of innocuous bubbles in response to the sudden motion.

"Noww are you gonna fight me or just run off an admit your wweakness?"

[OLDROXY]

Roxy nodded along with him with a face of mock-seriousness. Man, like anyone cared about that. Trolls she talked to slung troll-romance terms at her sometimes, who even cared. This douchewaffle should try and be a little more multi-cultural or something.

The last thing she actually wanted to do right now was get into a Pokemon battle, but getting out of it now was going to be pretty tricky. There was no way she could leave with her dignity intact. Well, assuming she had some to begin with. Puking everywhere was never all that dignified.

She wasn't sure she liked the idea of attacking the poor Horsea just because his owner was such a dick, but she guessed that was being a Pokemon trainer for you.

"Ugh, fine. Challenge accepted, your Majesty. Hermione, I choose you!" God she'd been wanting to say that a while. Just like in the games. Roxy tossed her Skitty's ball into the air, and the Pokemon landed on the decking with a twirl. (She was a show-Skitty until Roxy pilfered her, after all!)

She hoped she could actually manage a battle while completely off her face. She'd managed to play Pokemon Red reasonably competently whilst drunk, so she could hope.

[Eridan Ampora]

Honestly Eridan would've been content to let Roxy go... for a while, at least. He knew his Horsea wasn't really any sort of ferocious opponent, not with its grand total of two attacks, only one of which did any damage. And that's if you charitably call bubbles "damage." But his pride couldn't let her offenses pass without a challenge, and he was pretty sure the nebulous rules of Pokemon wouldn't let a challenge pass without an acceptance, at least without someone inexplicably fainting somewhere in there and waking up laid out in a Pokemon Center with a lighter wallet. So battle it was.

"Ghengis, BUBBLE!" he commanded. It wasn't like there was much else he could say. Ghengis bobbed forward just a bit in the air and began his volley, coughing up one projectile after another.

[OldKanaya]

Quite a different boat moored only one dock over from all this excitement, slowly hitching its anchor to the saturated dock. People began to come off slowly, only a few couples and their Pokemon, who they were letting out to receive a touch of fresh air. This boat was from the Sinnoh region, and took quite a while to get here.

Kanaya Maryam had been sitting quietly on the deck, all her things packed in the bag at her side. Her little Ralts named Rema snuggled up on her lap, underneath the novel Kanaya was reading. Indeed, she was deep into a thickened plot revolving around a dark vampire queen vying for a young lady's affection when she heard a chime. We have arrived in Vermillion City, a voice said. Please take your things and depart when you are ready. We hope you had a lovely time on S.S. Sinnoh!

Stroking Rema's oddly lengthened hair, she cooed, "Rema It Is Time To Go. I Will Put You In Your Pokeball For Safety." The young Pokemon yawned and smiled, allowing her mistress to open her ball and draw her inside. Her ball was a normal Pokeball, but there was a sparkling green sticker of Rema's name in calligraphy. Stowing the Pokeball in her sidebag, Kanaya stood, took her luggage in hand, and descended from the deck.

As her fashionable-yet-functional heels clicked along the deck, a sound to her left caught her attention. It seemed that across the dock, a hotheaded troll got himself in a tussle with a lovely young woman. Shaking her head, she began to walk towards them, her bag in her hand and her auspitizing urge rising.

"I Hope You Do Not Mind If I Watch" she said with a lilting accent. Her one arm was on her hip, and the other hung by her side. Looking back and forth between them, she noticed that the troll was a seadweller, and well now it made perfect sense that he got in a scuffle.

Rema

[OLDROXY]

Damn, and there she was hoping he'd turn her down. Roxy was confident Hermione could withstand a few measly bubbles, though! The Skitty grimaced as the bubbles hit her, but only a tiny amount. That was her girl! Now, to show this dickbag what was-

Oh. Well, looked like they had a spectator. Another troll, although thankfully not another no good sea-dwelling shitheel.

"Sure thing, sweetie, but don't get in the way. Gonna tear this chump a new one." Tough words, but Roxy was swaying a little on her feet and didn't exactly look like much of a fighter. She wasn't going to let a little thing like being sick stop her putting up a fight, though! She quickly took a swig from a bottle she'd been drinking on the boat before calling out a command.

"Kay, Hermione! Hit 'im with a double slap!" Her Skitty obediently jumped at the Horsea, with the intention of slapping it across the nozzle a couple of times.