Adventure Calls, We Answer [Complete!]

[OLDDIRK]

Dirk leaned over and put his hands on his knees, panting a bit. Had he lost Jake? Was Squarewave right behind him? He looked behind himself towards the dock, and in about seven seconds Squarewave showed up.

"Great. I see Beretta hasn't caught up and annihilated you yet." Dirk looked around the crowd on the dock for Jake before looking back at Squarewave. "Be prepared for an attack from any direction in that crowd. You don't have any attacks that can be used against a charging opponent, so just dodge."

And with that, an especially cacophonous screaming of Dirk's last name was heard. Dirk turned to face the place where the sound was heard, and Jake was coming right at him.

"Oh shit." he mumbled to himself as he darted off in another direction. Jake managed to change his trajectory quickly enough to grab a hold of his leg and topple them both over on the sand. "Chill, dude! I'm just taking the fight to a new battlefield."

What Dirk hadn't noticed was that Beretta had jumped off of Jake's shoulder towards Squarewave. Squarewave was thankfully warned in time to avoid the poorly-timed attack, but Dirk was too busy dealing with Jake to give him another order. Squarewave took his fighting pose again as he stared at Beretta laying on the ground.

[jakeirwin]

Ah-hah! That sneak thought he could get away, changing his course and what ho, but no mortal man escaped a good ol' English charge! Apparently such didn't pass on to an English's Pokemon, unfortunately- at his own strike, his dear Squirtle had rather unceremoniously launched herself face-first into the sand not far off. Ah well. He'd teach her how to hunt a gent proper some day.

For now, the target had been taken down, and was hastily stammering out an explanation for his untimely display of cowardice. Jake, who had been riled up for a full-on rant about the etiquette of a Pokemon duel, how a true gentleman never flees the fight even when the odds are against him, when faced with it, immediately converted into dead weight, his grip on Dirk's leg loosening. "Blimey, old boy! Why didn't you just SAY so?" He moaned, flopping over on his side, to expended to actually get up. He lay there for a while, panting heavily in some meager hope to regain the air he'd lost, still rambling all the while. "I was.... right prepared to.... bust your chops for your... daring rapscallion-esque escape!.."

Beretta, who had since gotten up with a face full of grit and had no real command to obey, at least had the kindness to roll her tired trainer out of what would be the battlefield. The boy made surprisingly little protest, rather just stopped his breath a moment and closed his eyes when it came time for his face to make contact with the sand.

[OLDDIRK]

Dirk squiggled out of Jake's loosening grasp. "I thought you'd decline. So I bounced." He turned around to face Jake and the sun shined straight in his eyes. "Shit, where'd auto-responder go? You better not have damaged him."

Squarewave promptly answered his question by tugging on his pant leg and putting AR on his face.

"Hah. Little guy looks almost as rad as I do in those things." He took the sunglasses off of Squarewave's face and checked them for damage. Luckily, AR only got a little dirty. AR may be insufferable, but Dirk felt that he had a responsibility to take care of him. After all, he created him.

"Let's get this battle on the road. Squarewave, do a Sand-Attack-Low-Kick combo." Squarewave grabbed some dirt, threw it in the direction of Berreta's eyes, and then ran up to Beretta so he could take a shot at her feet.

[jakeirwin]

Oh, blight damnit in a breadbasket, Strider.
"It is rightly proper manners to 'bounce' on a gentleman's duel only when one party has come out victorious!" Jake protested, shaking a fist in a slightly overly dramatic manner into the open air and squinting in the sunlight. "Those are the regulations! What you seemed to be doing was cowardice, old boy, not tactical warfare!!!"

He was out of breath once again when he finished, flopping a hand over his eyes in defense against the light. Who gave a bloody hoot about that mechanical menace? He was a smarmy pain in the arse to talk to anyway. "Why did you take that eye-bot with you again?"
Realizing fully he probably couldn't just lie around all day, Jake forced himself to sit up, blinking away the spots in his vision as Strider replaced his glasses...robot...thing. "I'll let bygones be bygones this time, Strider. But it best not happen again!"

And then it began again. "Beretta! Don't panic, Lass! Listen carefully." Jake ordered hastily as Squarewave began to execute the combo, his poor companion taking a shot of grit straight to her eyes. Aimlessly, she turned about, stubby fingers attempting to remove it. Jake paused for just a moment as the Scraggy got closer, feet still bet on knocking his floundering Pokemon over. "Tail Whip! Now!"

The wiggling of Beretta's tail did spread out the momentum and help to dull the blow a bit, though ultimately, she still ended up flat on her face. Jake shook his head. Today wasn't the old girl's day, was it?
"Hang in there! Can you stand?"
Beretta shifted a bit in response to her trainer's concern, pushing herself up onto all fours. "Marvy! Now, I need you to Tackle backwards!"

It was a strange request by any stretch of imagination, though how Squarewave reacted to twenty pounds of turtle ass coming towards him as Beretta curled her tail in close and hopped back would perhaps help to decide the battle.

[OLDDIRK]

"Pardon me, sir. I'm not familiar with the regulations of an official brawl as of yet." He dipped his head in obviously duplicitous shame. "Surely you'll forgive me for being a benighted greenhorn?"

”Hal’s a fully sentient being, Jake. He deserves to go out and experience the world just as much as I do.” Also, Hal would never let Dirk hear the end of it if he left him at home. Dirk knew himself too well. “Imagine sitting on a shelf for months on end while a duplicate of yourself explores a different continent.”

Dirk’s Pesterchum app chirped. “Hey. It seems that Jane wants to hang out with you in Saffron. Ask Indiana Brones over there if he wants to come.”

“Tell Jane I’m comin’ and I’m about to ask Jake.”

Squarewave’s Low Kick connected with the back of Beretta’s shell, knocking her face first onto the sand. The Tail Whip hardly protected her at all. Squarewave grinned a little at his successful hits, but the blow to his head from earlier was beginning to bother him again. He kneaded his forehead to relieve the pain.

Unfortunately, Squarewave was too busy nursing his headache to dodge the 9 kg of turtle shell reversing onto him. He toppled helplessly backwards. Beretta took a moment to rest her behind on Squarewave’s face before getting up and revealing the cartoonish swirls in his eyes.

Victor – Jake English

“Ah mother fuck. Finishing off my Pokemon with a literal bum rush? Talk about a sick burn. You know plush rumps are my whole charade. I applaud your heretofore unrevealed sense of irony and concede defeat.”

Dirk looked down on his defeated Pokemon with pity. “Squarewave… We’ll do better next time if we train beforehand.” He zapped Squarewave into his Pokeball and placed it in his backpack.

“Oh, by the way. I’m meeting Jane in Saffron. Want to come with?”