Roleplay Logs

[Gamzee Makara]

twinArmageddons [TA] joined chat
carcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat
TA: hey kk.
CG: HEY, FUCKWIT.
TA: kk.
TA: kk gue22 what.
TA: ii can't. ii lo2t my gla22e2 kk.
TA: and al2o where are my pant2.
CG: YOU WHAT?
CG: ...WHAT.
TA: ii can't fiind my gla22e2.
TA: or my pant2.
TA: and ii thiink my 2hiirt miight be mii22iing a 2leeve.
TA: what diid ii DO la2t niight?
CG: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE.
TA: giive me your pant2 kk.
CG: NO. |:B
TA: plea2e?
CG: ...NO.
TA: ii need your pant2 kk iit'2 a diire 2iituatiion.
TA: liife or death kk.
CG: DON'T YOU HAVE, I DON'T KNOW, *OTHER* PANTS?
TA: iit'2 not the 2ame.
TA: and no.
TA: ii thiink gz ate them or 2omethiing.
CG: ...
CG: GOD DAMMIT.
TA: 2hh iit'2 okay.
TA: only pant2 now.
CG: NO GODDAMMIT.
TA: ii need them more than you do.
TA: otherwii2e...
CG: YOU HAVE.
CG: *NO*
CG: **IDEA**
CG: HOW MUCH I NEED MY PANTS.
twinArmageddons [TA] disconnected.
twinArmageddons [TA] joined chat
TA: ii need them 2o much more.
TA: ju2t... calm down.
TA: and giive me your pant2.
CG: ...
CG: FINE.
TA: thank2.
TA: *holds hands out expectantly*
CG: *takes off his goddamn pants, gives*
TA: *takes the pants*
TA: *there is a long silence where they're just both standing there, pantsless*
TA: GZ II GOT HII2 PANT2
TA: *absconds*


^ why i should not be allowed to be sollux

[OLDDIRK]

▲: Hello.
▼: sup chica
▲: Oh hi, Dave.
▲: Fancy meeting you here.
▼: dont judge me im really bored and i have a boner
▲: ((is this going to be smut?))
▼: ((Nope. I am a not a heterosexual.))
▼: ((See what I did there?))
▲: ((ok good))
▲: ((yes i see what you did thar. Also neither am I))
▼: ((Sweet.))
▲: I certainly wanted to hear about your throbbing erection.
▼: i know you do
▼: its even dripping
▼: its kind of gross to be honest
▼: wanna see a picture
▲: Of course.
▲: Only the classiest of women can get a glimpse at the glorious boner of one Dave Strider.
▲: Frankly, I feel privileged to have been offered a look.
▼: im being serious
▲: Mmmhmm.
▲: I believe you.
▼: one sec
▼: lemme get this shit uploaded
▼: (link censored)
▼: that should work
▼: its the best i could do on such short notice
▲: Is that a heart drawn on your hand?
▲: It's so small.
▼: shut up im still growing
▲: I doubt it, given your statically small stature in the past few years.
▼: not everyone can be a manly giant
▼: ((Brb))
▼: ((Back))
▲: ((Ok))
▲: Alright. But I'm just saying I've seen bigger.
▼: and im just saying
▼: fuck you
▲: The burns are killing me here.
▼: wanna see the one john sent me
▼: hes just as fucking scrawny
▲: Not really.
▼: ((link also censored))
▼: look at it anyways
▼: god he needs to start shaving
▲: Fine.
▲: Well.
▲: I honestly don't know how to feel about this.
▲: Other than I told you.
▲: I knew you weren't entirely heterosexual from the start.
▼: yeah yeah whatever
▼: im a raging homosexual
▼: wait
▼: is egbertsexual a legit sexuality yet
▲: I'm not sure. Perhaps you could be just bi enough to find a few men attractive?
▲: A 2 on the Kinsey scale at least.
▼: i think i may be mostly asexual actually
▼: except john
▼: john gives me boners
▲: Tumblr's community of radical queers tells me this is called "asexual homoromanticism"
▲: ((shoulda put a period on the end there, woops))
▼: but
▼: i dont want to date him
▼: i want him to hammer me
▲: Hmm.
▼: i want his purple helmeted warrior of love to be plundering my tight scrawny ass
▲: Well, there's theories going around that asexuality and hypersexuality work on a spectrum just like homosexuality and heterosexuality are theorized to be.
▲: As much as I disagree with that theory.
▼: it would make sense
▲: I guess.
▼: he is the only man in the world that can successfully give me boners
▲: Impressive. If only I could find a woman who could do that for me.
▼: i wish you the best of luck
▲: Thank you, Dave. Sincerely.
▼: no problem dude
▲: I am glad that none of us give any fucks at all about who others procreate with in privacy.
▲: I have talked to Jade about this matter, and she was nothing but open arms.
▲: I doubt she would have a problem with you and John, either.
▲: As long as you don't send her those pics. I don't think she could appreciate the irony in them like I could.
▼: yeah but john has a problem with me and him
▼: i dont plan on it
▼: shes much too innocent
▲: John? Do we have a case of internalized homophobia?
▲: Or perhaps you two just aren't getting along, although I can't imagine that happening.
▼: im pretty sure hes homophobic
▲: Oh god. That must be a pickle to be in.
▲: How does one even become homophobic in suburban Washington, anyways?
▼: how the fuck should i know
▲: Do you know how his dad feels about homosexuality?
▼: no idea
▲: Well, he must have picked it up from somewhere. Lord knows his grandmother couldn't have instilled the values of hatred from the afterlife.
▼: it probably was his dad
▼: i dont know man
▲: Most likely.
▼: shit i gotta go
▲: All of those clown paintings John always complains about are starting to make me wonder.
▼: bros dragging me to church tomorrow morning
▲: ((aww!))
▼: ((I'm falling asleep at my computer. XD Or else I'd stay longer. Do you have skype/aim/tumblr?))
▲: ((yes I have a tumblr!))
▲: jacerw.tumblr.com IIRC
▼: ((Mine are --- and --- ))
▲: ((cool.))
▼: ((I shall possibly talk to you another time. You're a great Rose, by the way!))
▲: ((thank you!))
▲: ((Just curious, are you a gay male like me?))
▼: ((I am indeed.))
▼: ((And damn proud as well. :3 ))
▲: ((Yes.))
▲: ((Me too.))
▲: ((Glad to see some m/m pairings being portrayed by actual gay or bisexual men.))
▲: ((As opposed to all the uke/seme bullshit portrayals by yaoi fangirls.))
▼: ((Well, I've noticed that most of the females Homestuckers I've rped with don't use that. My kismesis being an exception. She's the only one I've seen actually call it yaoi since I left the Hetalia fandom.))
▼: ((But yeah, anyways, I gotta go pass out. Later, dude!))

[Jade Harley]

posting this because everyone needs to see this amazing log between my fantroll and a sollux

acrimoniousMainframe [AM] joined chat
twinArmageddons [TA] joined chat
AM: h-HELLO.
TA: oh my god, do NOT tell me you're a 2tutteriing, bumbliing lo2er becau2e ii can't take that.
TA: waiit actually, ii miight be. ju2t tell me you aren't a huge diick.
AM: o-OH FUCK n-NO YOU d-DID NOT j-JUST GO t-THERE!
TA: go where? mentiioniing your dumb 2tutter?
TA: dude, ii have a lii2p.
TA: we are bulge bumpiing 2peech iimpediiment pal2.
TA: that wa2 a joke, by the way.
TA: the poiint ii2, ii couldn't giive a 2hiit about your dumb 2tutter anyway.
AM: t-THAT BETTER h-HAVE BEEN a-A JOKE t-THAT THOUGHT i-IS DISGUSTING.
TA: the thought of what ii2 dii2gu2tiing? beiing friiend2?
TA: then why diid you me22age me two begiin wiith...
AM: i-IT WAS t-THE BULGE b-BUMPING PART. t-THAT IS f-FUCKING VULGAR e-EVEN FOR m-ME.
TA: oh 2ORRY, ii wiill refraiin from u2iing any "100d language2 around you, becau2e you ju2t can't handle iit.
TA: you remiind me 2o much of thii2 one guy that pii22e2 me off two no end, blueblooded priick.
AM: o-OH PERHAPS y-YOU SHOULD i-INTRODUCE US a-AND WE c-CAN GO a-AND HAVE a-A HIGHBLOOD g-GET TOGETHER w-WITHOUT YOU.
TA: can't, he2 not onliine.
AM: d-DAMN FUCKING sh-SHAME THEN.
TA: your bood doe2n't even look at hiigh.
TA: what color ii2 that?
AM: i-IT'S FUCKING st-STEEL TEAL, c-CLEARLY THE c-COOLEST COLOR t-TO EVER b-BE NAMED.
TA: ii have no iidea where that would even be on the hemo2hiitrum.
TA: not that ii care, ii don't even have the hemo2pectrum memoriized.
AM: i-IT IS c-CLEARLY ON t-THE HIGHER e-END OF t-THE TEAL c-CASTE.
AM: a-AND A f-FUCKTON HIGHER t-THAN YOU.
TA: blood ii2 kiind of dumb two thiink about untiil we get at lea2t 22 2weep2 old, THEN hiighblood2 can 2tart actiing better than me.
TA: but riight now, whiile ii can ea2iily kiick you a22, ii don't thiink you have any riight two act liike you're much better.
AM: h-HA. I d-DOUBT YOU c-COULD EVEN t-TOUCH ME.
TA: ehehe yeah OKAY.
TA: you're 2o iintiimiidatiing wiith y-you DANGEROU2 w-way OF t-talkiing
TA: becau2e hiighblood2 that 2tutter a-a-a-a-are 2o IINTIIMIIDATIING.
TA: ii am 2hakiing iin my 2hoe2 at the iidea of you, 2iir a22hole.
AM: f-FUCK YOU m-MY STUTTER i-ISN'T EVEN t-THAT BAD.
AM: a-AND I'M s-SURE I'M a-A BETTER f-FIGHTER THAN m-MOST TROLL y-YOU KNOW.
TA: ii'm 2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2orry for iin2ultiing you.
TA: ehehe
TA: anyway yeah dude, pull that two foot pole out of your wa2te chute and 2top actiing liike 2uch a priick. you're not iimpre22iing anyone.
AM: w-WHO EVER s-SAID I w-WAS TRYING t-TO IMPRESS s-SOMEONE?
AM: m-MY PRESENCE a-ALONE IS i-IMPRESSIVE IN i-IT'S OWN r-RIGHT.
TA: ...
TA: pffft.
AM: y-YOU ARE s-SIMPLY JUST t-TO SIMPLE m-MINDED TO r-REGISTER MY gr-GREATNESS.
TA: holy 2hiit, ii don't thiink ii've laughed that hard iin a few 2weep2.
TA: OH OBVIIOU2LY.
TA: tell me more about how great you are, PLEA2E!!
TA: ehehehe oh my god, you are 2o riich. where diid you even come from?
AM: wh-WHAT KIND o-OF QUESTION e-EVEN IS th-THAT? o-ONLY THE b-BEST AND m-MOST PRESTIGIOUS g-GENETICS IS wh-WHERE ALL th-THIS COMES f-FROM.
TA: obviiou2ly.
AM: c-CLEARLY.
AM: i-I SHOULDN'T h-HAVE NEEDED t-TO SAY a-ANYTHING THAT f-FACT WAS s-SO OBVIOUS.
TA: iit wa2 ju2t 2iittiing there iin plaiin 2iight and ii couldn't 2ee iit clearly becau2e of my 2hade2, riight?
AM: o-OF COURSE. th-THAT OR y-YOUR THINKPAN i-IS SLOWER th-THAN MY l-LUSUS WITHOUT a-A SLIME t-TRAIL.
TA: what2 your lu2u2?
AM: a-A TECHNOSNAIL. h-HE'S PROBABLY m-MORE TECHNOLOGICALLY c-CAPABLE THAN y-YOU.
TA: ii hiighly doubt that, but okay.
AM: th-THOUGH BY d-DEFAULT THAT w-WOULD ALSO m-MAKE ME m-MORE TECHNOLOGICALLY c-CAPABLE THAN y-YOU. NO s-SURPRISES HERE.
TA: okay.
TA: my lu2u2 ii2 a giiant mon2ter wiith two head2, 2o by default ii have more head2 than you.
TA: that2 the way thii2 work2, riight?
AM: n-NO I w-WAS IMPLYING th-THAT I h-HAVE MORE t-TECHNICAL SKILL th-THAN MY l-LUSUS AND th-THEREFOR YOU, b-BUT I g-GUESS YOUR th-THINKPAN REALLY i-IS TO s-SLOW.
TA: de2piite my 2kiill2 beiing 2hiitty, ii'm pretty 2ure ii'm better than 2ome hiighblooded douchebag 2o 2tep off your hiigh hoofbea2t for two fuckiing miinute2, becau2e your attiitude ii2 really annoyiing.
AM: o-OH YES i-I'M SURE y-YOU ENJOY b-BUILDING CUSTOM h-HUSKTOPS IN y-YOUR SPARE t-TIME.
TA: oh ew, a hardware guy.
AM: o-OH EW a-A LOWBLOOD. th-THERE OUR d-DISGUST FOR e-EACH OTHER h-HAS BEEN m-MUTUALLY ESTABLISHED.
TA: what a priick.
TA: ii2 there anythiing you want from me or can ii leave now?
AM: i-IF YOU f-FEEL THE n-NEED TO g-G0 CRY t-TO YOUR l-LUSUS GO a-AHEAD.
TA: ii can't even cry two biicyclop2, you iidiiotiic fuck. he would ju2t 2tart roariing and 2tompiing around liike a ragiing dumba22 and break 2omethiing iif he 2aw my up2et.
AM: w-WELL EXCUSE m-ME FOR b-BEING INSINCERE, o-OH WAIT th-THAT'S RIGHT! i-I DON'T g-GIVE A f-FLYING FUCK.
TA: ehehe iit2 pretty funny when you get 2a22y.
TA: you're liike troll tyra bank2, iit2 hiilariiou2.
AM: o-OH DOES th-THAT MEAN y-YOU FIND m-ME ATTRACTIVE? s-SORRY, NOT i-INTERESTED.
TA: what no, troll tyra bank2 ii2 gro22.
TA: 2he2 ju2t really funny when 2he2 fliippiing her 2hiit.
AM: y-YOU MUST b-BE CONFUSED f-FOR MY sh-SHIT HAS y-YET TO b-BE FLIPPED th-THIS NIGHT. i-IT IS p-PERFECTLY FINE a-AND UNFLIPPED.
twinArmageddons [TA] disconnected.

[jakeirwin]

So, I had nothing special planned for today.
So this is how I spent it.

secretWizard [SW] joined chat
MASTER G [G] joined chat
G: GREETINGS
SW: greetings pilgrim
SW: I may appear to be a regular salamander, but I am in fact a secret wizard.
SW: I would ask that you behold my robes
G: NEGATIVE
G: I HAVE GREATER PROSPECTS THAN THAT
MASTER G [G] disconnected.

secretWizard [SW] joined chat
MASTER G [G] joined chat
SW: so we meet again.
G: ARGH
MASTER G [G] disconnected.

secretWizard [SW] joined chat
MASTER G [G] joined chat
SW: perhaps it is fate that binds us
SW: ((seriously bro, i'm laughing my ass off over here))
G: INCORRECT. I HOLD DOMINION OVER FATE AND WE ARE NOT THE LEAST BIT BOUND
MASTER G [G] disconnected.

secretWizard [SW] joined chat
MASTER G [G] joined chat
SW: perhaps you may wish to reconsider your claim of control upon the fates.
MASTER G [G] disconnected.
SW: ((d8 ))

There was then a series of people who disconnected instantly.

[Jade Harley]

Pomgot strikes again!!!
And somehow ends up as Tav's friend???
cliiiick!!!