Take Me to Wonderland [Roxy and Meenah]

When she was done mulching around Vermilion City, Roxy headed straight down Route 6. She was still a little tipsy, but the walk and the meal she’d had earlier with that Eridun guy were starting to sober her up. Thank God. Drinking on the very first day of her adventure had turned out to not be the best idea.

So, she was pretty pleased to find she could walk in a straight line down the road fairly simply! Shame the road was so damn boring. She wanted to just get to Saffron and meet up with Jane already, ughhhh.

Life only got worse when she spotted a familiar figure sitting by a pond. They looked familiar, anyway. It was usually pretty hard to recognise someone from the back, but the fins and the braids were pretty unmistakable. Meenah?

To put it lightly, the two of them did not really get along that well. But hey, this was her adventure of friendship and discovery and shit, right? She could at least try talking to the girl.

“Yo Sharkweek,” she greeted, giving the sea-dweller a slight kick in the back, “what’re yer doin’ sitting by some pond? I’m not seeing a fishin’ rod.”

Huh, looked like Meenah was feeling pretty mellow today, since she barely even responded to the kick! No trying to stab her with a trident today, Roxy guessed. That was always nice. Maybe they could actually be civil and shit.

“Hahahahahaaha! You’re lost? Fuckin’ priceless.” Okay, that obnoxiously loud laughter wasn’t completely civil, but it was close enough for now. She was kind of baffled at Meenah’s inability to follow a simple path. But she could help her out, possibly.

She shrugged and sat down next to the sea troll, looking out across the water. Which sounded pretty picturesque and cool, but it basically was just a small shitty pond, and it wasn’t as dramatic and poignant an image as, say, them sitting by the sea front.

“Kay, princess. There’s a main path you can follow that pretty much shows you exactly where to go. I dunno how you missed it, it’s like a goddamn yellow brick road. Minus the bricks. And the yellow. Whatevz, the point is it’s simple as shit. Unless yur lookin’ to get to Cereligan, then you gotta take the underpass? I think that’s the building over there but who the hell cares, Cereligan is lame as hell.” She was pointing at the various places as she described them, although some were far away enough that it wasn't really all that clear what she was pointing at.

The sea dweller scowled at the other's reaction, tensing up many muscles in her body that would be rather pointless to count. "HEY. Look, that "yellow brick" road just ran me to some stusquid building, okay? I'm willing to bet it prolly could confuse some other blokes."

Upon seeing the Psyduck appear she watched it to see what it would do. The result was priceless. Now it was her time to laugh. Or more accurately, cackle.

"Oh cod that's beautiful! That totally makes up for before." She paused over that for a second before correcting herself with a big grin plastered over her face, "..Whale, almooost anyway."

She took her attention over to the two pokemon. "Heh, I'd call dibs on that clamperl anyday. Though that psyduck looks pretty cool. Man, where's Aranea when I need her to give me some info on somethin'?"

Splash!

Gross. Roxy’s perfectly curled hair was totally fucking ruined. Instead of flicking glamorously and stylishly outward, her hair was hanging straight down, dripped wet.

Roxy glared at Meenah and her evil-sounding guffaws. Just what you’d expect from batterwitch spawn (she was pretty sure that was what all fuchsiabloods were). No sympathy whatsoever. Scowling, she looked from the sea-troll to the Psyduck in front of her.

“Dibs on the clamperl? Okay, here’s all the info you need.” She grinned wickedly. “Clamperl totally guard a jewel in ‘em that you can sell for buckloads of cash. Super valuable. They make em into classy-ass necklaces to sell to rich old birds and their bratty kids.” No need to mention that if she tried to steal it the thing’d clamp down on her arm, hard.

She watched as the thing clamped onto the Psyduck’s head. Boy, that’d weaken it for sure! This was gonna be a cinch. “Mmkay, Sharkie. I’m catching me this Psyduck and you can get your lame Clamperl.” She was going to make it pay for ruining her hair!! Then catch it and take care of it since it was cute as hell.

She grabbed a Pokéball, sending out her Skitty. “Hermione, use Fake Out!” Unfortunately her aim wasn’t the best and the cat landed in the pond itself with a splash. The shock didn't seem to stop her though, because seconds later she was leaping out and flying at the wild Psyduck, clapping its paws together in front of the enemy's face. A shockwave of air was sent out that would, with any luck, make the duck flinch.

Woah. Seriously? Was this chick gonna give her some nice information? Maybe she had this girl wrong this whole time.

"Clamperl totally guard a jewel in ‘em that you can sell for buckloads of cash. Super valuable. They make em into classy-ass necklaces to sell to rich old birds and their bratty kids."

Well, well, well then! This broad knew what to say and when! Man, she was totally gonna lose out of not attempting to catch this seriously sick clam. While it may not be the good ol' advice about beating the thing, it did do a heck of a lot to motivate her. Catch this and she might be able to get filthy rich again. Hahaha that'd be glorious! All revved up to battle, she whipped out her ultra ball and summoned her meowth.

"Hey Boon! You ready? Listen up! Scratch at that clam, got it?" she commanded with a forceful yell. The kind that'd wake up a kid and make them jump out of bed. The meowth nods and his claws come out of his paws at an alarming speed before he dashes over to the clamperl and attempts to slash it.

Roxy watched the Psyduck fail around and scratched the back of her head, actually beginning to feel sort of sorry for the poor Psyduck. Man, did she know the pain of having a massive headache, and how awful loud noises could make it! The duck had clearly been hitting the drink too hard. Could Pokémon get drunk? Could they get hangovers? Hmm. Whatever, the point was she sympathised.

“Hey, Hermione! Sing, would ya?” The Skitty looked at her, before beginning to mew a sweet melody, something it had picked up from Roxy’s own music collection. Unfortunately there was no avoiding the Clamperl and Boon hearing the lullaby too. Whoops!

Roxy was almost feeling a little drowsy herself. It was lucky humans had a little more resistance, or she would totally be curling up in the grass and taking a nap. That was tempting as hell, actually. But she forced herself to stay awake, because she wanted dibs on the cute Psyduck, and was still hoping she'd get to see Meenah get clamped down on at some point.

Seeing the effects of the move- or rather not being able to see it, she was definitely disappointed but soon rebuilt herself to look confident and ready to strike next. That was, until the tipsy baffoon HAD to make her dumb cat of a minion sing. With that, Boon easily succumbed to the melody and fell to a light slumber. It'd be gone sooner or later, but it still ended in the inevitable loud and shrill reaction from Miss Fish Hitler's Removed Heiress.

"OH MY COD, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE GLUBBING SQUIDDING ME."

Rage does not mean lack of fish puns, oh hell no. But with her now upset mood, the censoring now makes a return! Narrowing her eyes and furrowing her eyebrows, she turned her gaze towards the slightly intoxicated human and pulled out two fingers, pointing them at her own eyes and then right back out at Roxy, emphasizing it at the end with a little recoil and bounce out in her direction. In addition, her typical low voice increased in pitch to a high, angry screech barely being muffled. It might remind one of either an extremely stereotypical feminine girl bouncing about or a mouse. Choose your pick. Flashing out her 2x3dent, she gripped it tightly and a surge of anger passed through her.

Clam the fuck down, gill. This ain't the time between the two of you- aim your eyes on the prize. You can deal with it later.

Taking a few deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling slowly, she calmed her nerves a bit to the point she could stand upright like a respectable colonel. Maybe. She avoided eye contact and only said one thing that would indicate a newcomer of her rage in an almost blank tone as she waited for the status to get over, "Glubbin' beach." During this she paid not too much of mind to the the psyduck and its shenanigans, though she did eventually take note of the absence of the skitty and was quite confused, but brushed it off. She'd find out sooner or later where it disappeared off to.