John convinces Karkat to buddy up

[12:57] -- gastlyTrickster [GT] began pestering cinccinoGeneticist [CG] at 00:57 --
[12:57] GT: hey.
[12:57] GT: hey.
[12:57] GT: hey.
[12:57] GT: karkat.
[12:57] CG: HEY.
[12:57] CG: HEY.
[12:57] CG: HEY.
[12:57] CG: JOHN.
[12:58] GT: hey karkat!
[12:58] CG: STOP BEING AN ANNOYING ASSWIPE. WHAT IS IT?
[12:58] GT: okay, so. i have been thinking!
[12:58] CG: THINKING? SOUNDS DANGEROUS. HAVE YOU BROKEN THE TWO BRAIN CELLS YOU HAVE YET?
[12:59] GT: oh man, my brain cells definitely exploded from the extreme awesomeness of the idea i've had.
[12:59] GT: you know what day tomorrow is, right??????
[12:59] CG: WELL FUCK, IT MUST BE SOME IDEA THEN.
[01:00] CG: YEAH, OF COURSE I DO! IT'S THE DAY I FINALLY GET TO DITCH THIS TOWN!
[01:01] GT: hey! i like our town.
[01:01] GT: it has like ten houses, and it's awesome.
[01:02] CG: COME ON, JOHN. IT'S THE SMALLEST TOWN IN THE REGION! HELL, MAYBE EVEN ON THE WHOLE PLANET!
[01:02] GT: it's quaint! there's nothing wrong with being small. you of all people should know that, dude. you're tiny.
[01:04] CG: OH HA, HA, HA. LIKE I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT BEFORE. AND I'M NOT THAT TINY, OKAY? BESIDES, I'M NOT EVEN DONE GROWING YET! I CAN'T HELP YOU GREW SO QUICKLY. YOU JUST WON'T GROW ANYMORE IN THE FUTURE, AND SOON I WILL BE SOARING PAST YOU!
[01:04] CG: AND YOU CAN DEFEND IT ALL YOU WANT, IT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY OPINION ON THIS FUCKING TOWN.
[01:05] GT: well, your opion sucks. though it is a little boring here, i guess. i'm looking forward to getting to see new places.
[01:05] GT: that's what i want to talk about!
[01:06] CG: WELL, LET'S GET ON WITH IT THEN! WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT YOU NEEDED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT SO BADLY?
[01:07] GT: okay. basically the plan is............
[01:07] GT: ........
[01:07] GT: ............................
[01:08] CG: .......................................?
[01:08] GT: we become TRAVELLING BUDDIES.
[01:08] CG: TRAVELLING BUDDIES.
[01:08] GT: yeah!
[01:08] CG: YOU ARE SERIOUSLY SUGGESTING THAT WE BECOME TRAVEL BUDDIES.
[01:09] GT: it makes all the senese in the world for us to stick together. since we're starting from the same place and all.
[01:09] CG: AND WHAT EXACTLY MAKES YOU THINK I WANT TO TRAVEL WITH YOU? OR THAT WE ARE 'BUDDIES'?
[01:09] CG: I DON'T EVER RECALL GIVING US ANY STATUS RESEMBLING 'BUDDIES'.
[01:09] GT: uh, companionship? come on, travelling by yourself is lonely and also really lame.
[01:10] GT: and yeah, right! we're totally buddies.
[01:10] GT: we talk like every day.
[01:10] CG: AND TRAVELLING WITH YOU I WOULD BE BOGGED DOWN AND IT WOULD ALSO BE REALLY LAME.
[01:11] GT: bogged down? that's bullshit. i'd help out, maybe!
[01:12] GT: if your pokemon gets knocked out you can totally let me look after you.
[01:13] CG: HELP OUT? THE ONLY THING YOU'D HELP OUT WITH IS GETTING US SIDETRACKED WITH SOME RANDOM-ASS HOOFBEASTSHIT WHEREVER WE WENT!
[01:13] CG: AND WHO SAYS MY POKEMON WOULD GET KNOCKED OUT? IF ANYONE WOULD NEED THAT SORT OF LOOKING AFTER, IT WOULD BE YOUR SORRY ASS.
[01:14] GT: no way! it'll be fun. sidequests are totally a thing you do in video games, after all.
[01:14] GT: pfffff, no. you're the sorry ass, it's you. but fine, okay then.
[01:14] GT: i am asking you to travel with me and make sure i don't die or anything.
[01:14] GT: sort of like a bodyguard! only without any muscle.
[01:16] CG: AND SIDEQUESTS ARE THE LAMEST PART OF ANY VIDEO GAME! I MAKE IT A POINT TO PLAY ONLY MAIN-MISSION ORIENTED GAMES. NOT THOSE FANTASY BULLSHIT GAMES THAT HAVE AN EXTRA FUCKING SWEEP'S WORTH OF BONUS CONTENT. HOW CAN YOU STAND THAT SHIT?
[01:16] CG: SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU'D NEED ME TO BE YOUR BODYGUARD? BUT HOW COULD YOU TRUST YOUR SAFETY TO SOMEONE SO 'TINY', HUH?
[01:17] CG: YOU'RE NOT DOING A VERY GOOD JOB OF SELLING YOURSELF AS A TRAVEL PARTNER, BULGEBREATH.
[01:17] GT: nooooooo, karkat. the wind waker is the best game.
[01:18] CG: OH FUCK NO, YOU'RE NOT ABOUT TO START ON WIND WAKER AGAIN.
[01:18] CG: LEFT 4 DEAD IS AT LEAST A MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN THAT SHIT.
[01:18] GT: okay, well. i can be a totally great partner, see. i'll bring the gift of LAUGHTER to our party. also, i'll bring cake.
[01:19] GT: anyway if you fail jade'll make sure neither of us dies, i think!
[01:19] CG: WHEN DO YOU EVER NOT BRING CAKE IS THE BETTER QUESTION.
[01:19] CG: AND I WON'T FAIL! I'M GOING TO BE A BETTER TRAINER THEN EITHER OF YOU!
[01:19] GT: (i am not replying to your video game rage because l4d is admitedly pretty quality.)
[01:20] GT: then take us with you, oh great one. show us how it's done.
[01:20] GT: i forgot to mention jade is comming, btw. she is.
[01:20] CG: YEAH, SEE? AND DO YOU SEE ANY OF THAT SIDEQUEST BULLSHIT IN IT? NO. NO YOU DON'T. EVEN THE MAIN STORY IS HARD TO PICK OUT UNLESS YOU PAY ATTENTION TO THE DIALOGUE. AND THE WRITING IS GENIUS.
[01:20] GT: and she will be KEEPING YOU IN CHECK.
[01:21] CG: OH IS SHE NOW. THANKS FOR MENTIONING THAT HARLEY WOULD BE JOINING US IN THIS LITTLE CROSSCOUNTRY SIDEQUEST FILLED ADVENTURE!
[01:21] CG: WHICH I STILL HAVEN'T AGREED TO BY THE WAY.
[01:21] GT: bluh, we don't HAVE to do sidequests.
[01:21] GT: you haven't YET.
[01:22] GT: you will!
[01:22] CG: AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WILL? YOU SURE SEEM FUCKING CONFIDENT ABOUT IT.
[01:23] GT: i dunno, i am pretty sure that actually you know as well as we do that teaming up is a fantastic idea.
[01:23] GT: otherwise who will you have to yell at?
[01:27] CG: YOU JUST LISTED THE SINGLE BENEFIT. I GUESS I MIGHT MISS HAVING PEOPLE TO YELL AT FOR THEIR ABSURD AMOUNTS OF STUPIDITY ON MY OWN.
[01:27] CG: I MEAN, TEAMING UP WITH YOU AND HARLEY MEANS WE'D HAVE TO SPLIT TRAINING THREE WAYS, MEANING MY POKEMON WOULD ONLY GET A THIRD OF THE EXPERIENCE THEY'D GET OTHERWISE. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY FUCKING HUGE PENALTY TO ME!
[01:28] GT: we could train with each other a whole bunch, though!
[01:28] GT: you're getting two sparring partners, dude.
[01:28] GT: and two frieeeeends.
[01:29] CG: WELL, I GUESS HAVING SPARRING PARTNERS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE A BONUS. TRAINING AGAINST POKEMON THAT WEREN'T COMPLETELY WILD MIGHT BE BENEFICIAL. THOUGH I BET EVEN THE WILD POKEMON WOULD BE TOUGHER THAN ANY POKEMON YOU MANAGED TO TRAIN, HAHAHAHA.
[01:32] GT: trained pokemon are supossed to be better to fight with, actually.
[01:32] GT: but whatever. more importantly, we can all look out for each other and become like, best buds.
[01:33] GT: even better than we already are! hahaha.
[01:34] CG: AS MUCH AS I OBJECT TO YOU REFERRING TO OUR AQUAINTANCESHIP AS 'BEST BUDS', THIS ACTUALLY DOES SOUND LIKE IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA AFTER ALL.
[01:34] CG: KEY WORD HERE BEING MIGHT!
[01:34] CG: IF I DO AGREE
[01:34] CG: WHICH I PROBABLY WON'T
[01:34] CG: IT WILL BE THE MOST BEGRUDGING AGREEING YOU WILL EVER SEE IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
[01:36] GT: oh man, i thought i had you agreeing.
[01:36] GT: don't forget the cake, dude!
[01:37] GT: my dad is making cake tomorrow for obvious reasons and i wil likely have fucktons.
[01:38] CG: FUCK, CAKE. I'LL ADMIT IT IS HARD TO SAY NO TO THAT DELECTIBLE CONFECTION.
[01:39] GT: hahaha, cake. you eat like hlaf my cake every year and it's really sort of unfair.
[01:40] GT: not that i actually give a shit! damn cakes.
[01:40] GT: it's nice and all but there's no way i could eat it all myself.
[01:41] CG: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE A SHRUNKEN DIGESTIVE SAC OR SOMETHING.
[01:41] CG: I MEAN, HOW COULD YOU NOT EAT IT ALL?
[01:41] GT: uh, some of those cakes are bigger than i am! how am i meant to fit all that inside me?
[01:43] CG: PACE YOURSELF, OBVIOUSLY. AND WHEN HAS THAT EVER STOPPED ME? YOU HUMANS HAVE SUCH SMALL AND SLOW DIGESTIVE ORGANS, I SWEAR.
[01:45] GT: bluh. all i'm saying is he makes too much to eat in just one day, so i figure i'll haul it into my bag or whatever.
[01:45] GT: do trolls have superfast digestion systems? does that mean you eat like twice as much?
[01:46] GT: hmmm, maybe we'll need to stop for lunch twice a day! actually i would not complain if that became a thing.
[01:47] CG: WELL I WOULDN'T NECCESARILY SAY IT'S SUPERFAST, BUT IF YOU'RE COMPLAINING THIS MUCH ABOUT THE CAKE WHILE SUGGESTING LUNCH TWICE A DAY THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING DIFFERENT BETWEEN THE TWO.
[01:48] CG: I GUESS IF YOU REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF ALL OF YOUR GUARDIAN'S PASTRIES, I MIGHT NOT OBJECT TO WALKING IN THE SAME GENERAL DIRECTION AT AROUND THE SAME TIME WITH YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE AT LEAST.
[01:50] GT: okay, sweet! we can definetely do the first part together, anyway! it'll be great.
[01:51] GT: and then i guess later we'll see? i kind of want to hang out with rose and dave some when i get the chance.
[01:52] CG: YEAH, THAT DOESN'T SOUND TOO DREADFULLY HORRIBLE.
[01:52] CG: I GUESS.
[01:53] GT: hehehe, i told you dog!
[01:54] GT: i'll see you tomorrow then. i'll knock at like, nine.
[01:54] CG: OH DON'T YOU START THAT SHIT!
[01:54] CG: REMEMBER, THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY BEGRUDGING AGREEMENT!
[01:54] GT: suuuuure it is, karkat. you know you love us really.
[01:54] GT: oh! and don't forget, it's my birthday tomorrow.
[01:55] CG: OH OF COURSE, HOW COULD I FORGET YOUR WRIGGLING DAY? GOOD THING YOU REMINDED ME, OR I NEVER WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED!
[01:56] GT: yeah, i know all about how thoughtful you are.
[01:57] GT: just don't forget them birthday wishes. our very friendship hangs in the balance.
[01:58] CG: OH FUCK, DOES IT REALLY? I'LL MAKE SURE TO INGRAIN IT INTO MY THINKPAN THEN! IT SOUNDS PRETTY SERIOUS.
[01:59] GT: it's really serious buisinees, dude.
[01:59] GT: so yeah, see you soon!
[01:59] GT: :D
[02:00] CG: YEAH YEAH, SEE YOU SOON.
[02:01] -- gastlyTrickster [GT] ceased pestering cinccinoGeneticist [CG] at 02:01 --